Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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