well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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