I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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