Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
