and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize