didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
