Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
