Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
