I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize