you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
