Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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