stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
