The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
