whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize