her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
