Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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