I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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