Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Two words: blizzard sex
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
