My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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