yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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