I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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