Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize