ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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