Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
