Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
