He is an equal opportunity slut.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My dad just said "fuck circus"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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