Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize