Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
