What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
