are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
