I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
