bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
