Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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