Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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