You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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