My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think people are normalizing furries
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
