The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize