never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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