Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
