It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize