the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
