im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
