READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
