you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
