i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
