Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
