capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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