there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
