I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
