A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
