Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
