Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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