who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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