Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
