come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize