No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize