until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
