Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
