Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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