it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
