oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
