As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
