I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
