so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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