The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
