She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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