I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
