It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
