i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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