I hate all girls vehemently.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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