Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
